Do It Now : Personal Growth

The Best You

If you want peace of mind, and a more steady, reliable sense of inner joy, stop focusing on what's wrong with you. Do you realize that when you dwell on your weaknesses, you close your mind to seeing your strengths, and to all the opportunities for joy and success that are around you?

How many times we talk to friends or family members who are feeling hopeless or helpless, trying to help them see the other choices they can make to improve their situation, but they just cannot see. Why? Because their minds are focused on their weaknesses, and they do indeed become weak and helpless.

Yet you are powerful. You are filled with the same life force that empowers the highest achievers, that sustains all of Nature, and keeps the stars spinning across galaxies. Einstein and other brilliant minds have told us that energy is the same, everywhere. What differs is its rate of vibration, its frequency. 

When you dwell on your weaknesses, you lower the vibration of your energy. When you focus on your strengths and fill your mind with thoughts of hope, trust and love, you raise your energy frequencies to a much higher level. You also unblock your mind, opening it to other possibilities.

Do this exercise. List your strengths. For the next week, keep adding to the list. Ask others to help you come up with strengths you may not be aware of. Review the list every evening, just before bed. Before you sleep, tell yourself, ‘I already know everything I need to choose how to respond in any situation’. Feel your mind opening up as it releases self-doubt. Feel peace begin to flow in as you consider how you want to respond. Hold onto that feeling as you nod off. You are beginning to feel your limitless inner power. This will start you thinking about yourself differently. 

And don't cop out. Yes, it's easier to stick with your old ways of thinking, and pretend that you have no choice, but aren't you tired of being unhappy or angry so often? Besides, no change, no spiritual development, no personal growth. Is that what you really want? Do the exercise....every day until you convince yourself that feeling good within is really the way to go.  

And if you really want to indulge in some self pity, go whole hog. Wallow in it for about 1 hour...a day at most. Then climb out of the self-pity mudbath and do this exercise. OK?

Tosca

Recharging your Energy

 Have you ever seen a cat that’s lazily stretched out on the rug suddenly spring into action? I mean, one moment it looks like someone’s hairpiece and in less than a second, it’s a spring of powerful, wide-eyed alertness. Cats can do this because they are continually renewing their energy reserves with cat-naps. These aren’t so-called nanny naps, where you are so tired you can’t help nodding off. Cat naps are like pit stops: they keep you in top form so you can quickly spring back into action.

If you’re one of those people who can just shut their eyes and fall off to sleep, count yourself lucky. A ten or fifteen-minute nap in the middle of the day can do wonders to energize you, and keep you going full steam till bedtime. Even if you can’t fall asleep at the drop of a hat, just ten minutes of total relaxation with your eyes closed…on a comfortable chair, in your office, in the parked car on the way to a meeting, anywhere…can be very refreshing.

Heal the Mind, Heal the Body

I've said this before, but I want to be sure you hear me. True healing begins in the mind. If the mind isn’t healed, all the therapies in the world can only achieve partial healing of the body. You will not fully heal unless you truly want to heal, and allow your mind to heal.

Healing your mind means letting go of fear, negativity, and anger and opening up to gratitude and joy. Medical records are full of instances of spontaneous healing of seemingly hopeless conditions when the person healed their mind by putting aside fear, anger and negative thinking.

Just deciding to let go of negativity doesn’t work, because it leaves the mind with nothing to turn to. When you choose to appreciate, however, you give your mind a new, deeper anchor. You quickly feel the benefits: you feel happier and your mind is calmer, more peaceful. It is impossible to be negative when you are feeling gratitude and joy. Anyway, you won’t want to go back to your old way of thinking.

Every morning and night, sit quietly for a few minutes and think of what you appreciate. You might appreciate your hands that allow you to do so many things; your feet that bear your weight every day and carry you where you want to go. You might appreciate your pet’s companionship; a kind word from a neighbour; your wife’s soup; a person. For each, say, “I am grateful for..” or “I appreciate…” or “Thank you for…”.

Make this a daily habit, and it will become part of your every day thinking. I know it has made my life infinitely more beautiful and peaceful, and easier.

Get Motivated!

If you’re like me, you sometimes need help motivating yourself to tackle all those task that are waiting for you. Maybe my self-motivating strategies will help you as well. Here they are:

 

Start your day with a glass of fresh water to help your body flush out the toxins that have been moving through your elimination system overnight.

 Stretch like a cat for at least 5 minutes, or do 5 minutes of yoga. If you are so inclined, get energized  with a 30 minute walk or run in the fresh air.

 While you’re exercising, energize your mind with positive thoughts and expectations for the day. Use positive motivating affirmations, such as: ‘Today I am focused, efficient, and ready to get things done’.

 Rev your engine with a breakfast that includes protein (eggs, chicken, fish, nuts, tofu, natural yogurt), complex carbohydrates (oats, brown rice, quinoa, spelt), and a fresh fruit or fresh juice, and contains no or very little sugar.

 Plan your day so that you know exactly what you want to achieve that day. Schedule important tasks for early in the day while you’re still full of energy

 Throughout the day, mentally acknowledge each achievement before moving on the next item. (‘Wow, I’ve finished cleaning the kitchen/ I finished that article/ I have replied to all those emails!).

 Don’t waste energy feeling bad if you don’t finish all the items on your important list. Instead, put those items on the top of tomorrow’s list, and focus on what you have accomplished. Then relax and have fun.

                           In fact, HAVE AS MUCH FUN EVERY DAY AS YOU CAN !!

Overcoming Negativity

Have you noticed that some days everything seems to go better, and you feel good about life, and  other days, you wish you’d stayed in bed? Your energy level makes a huge difference. Attitude also makes a big difference. In fact, aside from diet and exercise, your attitude is the key to high, sustained energy levels.

We can consciously change our attitude, but until we see a need to change it, we won’t put in the effort. I mean, if you don’t realise that your attitude is holding you back, you won’t see any reason to improve it. But if you’re told that your attitude is keeping you from that promotion you really want, you’ll want to do something about it.

To find out if you’re limiting yourself with negative thinking, start paying attention to your thoughts throughout the day. Note any negative thoughts or judgements, such as ‘I can’t do that / It won’t work out/ I can’t help it/ I’m just not lucky/ He’s such an idiot’, and so on. Fear, anger, worry, guilt, self-doubt…these are negative emotions that we continually foster with negative thinking, and they stop us dead in our tracks. 

To change negative thinking, feed yourself positive thoughts. Tell yourself, ‘I can / I have the courage to…/ Good things come to me/ I see the best in myself and others/ I can respond differently/ I am so grateful for…’ and so on.

Even if you are not convinced, do this exercise anyway for 3-4 minutes several times a day. Soon, you’ll notice that your thinking becomes more positive. When you start to see the benefits in your attitude, relationships, achievement and energy levels, you will effortlessly become more optimistic and positive.

See that little boy taking his first tennis lesson? Now there's confidence! ....But I don't really need an excuse to show you my son and his boy, Beau, do I?

Remember What You Really Are

I want to start off this year by sharing something very close to my heart.

Every year, I make New Year’s resolutions, my major goals for the year. Sometimes, I achieve them, but often, I don’t. Sometimes, I become disillusioned, so when the new year comes around, I may have to force myself to make new resolutions. Yet I persist because making resolutions gives me a sense of hope and direction, something like stars in the night sky when you’re all at sea.

Frankly, I thought most people made new year's resolutions. But I was astonished to find how few of the people I asked made even one resolve. Why? Mostly, because they expect to fail!

“I just know I’ll break any resolution before even a month goes by, so why bother?” said one colleague.

How little faith we have in ourselves! What happened to that optimism we had as children, when we really believed we could do anything, and life was an adventure? When did we let go of this boundless enthusiasm to take on challenges, this confidence, and submit to chronic self-doubt?

You know there is more to you…to life… than this! I know it. We just need to remember who we really are.

Will you, this year, finally choose to put aside fear and self-doubt? DO YOU DARE, THIS YEAR, TO HAVE ABSOLUTE FAITH IN YOURSELF?

That is my resolution. I’ve already learned that to succeed in anything, I must set clear goals, and focus my mind and actions on achieving them. I’ve learned I can't give up in the face of obstacles, but must take the learning from each, and continue along my chosen path.  (Pic:  My gutsy daughter Zina puts doubt and fear behind her!! Tee Hee! )                            

 But I still often fail for the same reasons most people fail (or don't even start): our Inner Critics and Fear. The closer I come to success, the louder my inner critics yell: You cannot…You’re not worthy…You SHOULDN’T…Who do you think you are, anyway?   And I become afraid…afraid of making mistakes… of looking foolish… of failing.  Too often, that stops me dead in my tracks.

No more! This year, I resolve to have COMPLETE FAITH in myself, no matter what!  Make this your resolution, too.

Starting from now, I choose to put aside all fear and self-doubt, and to see myself as totally capable, infinitely creative, and completely worthy of all the joy and success I desire. If I slip, I resolve to put myself back on track and start again until self doubt is a thing of the past.

 You Are Invited

I’d love to know your resolution, if you dare make one. Will you resolve to have complete faith in yourself this year, to let go of doubt and fear? Is there some other goal you are finally ready to act upon?

I invite you to write your resolution as comment to this post, or email it to me. My email is doitnow@dodo.com.au.

Together, we will generate much more energy for our goals than each of us can alone.

Start from Here

Dear Friends,

I hope you begin your new year with a strong inner will to be happy, recognising yourself as a marvel, and opening your arms to all the love, joy and fulfilment that life has to offer.

This year, I choose to have absolute faith in myself. I hope you do too.

Tosca

When Things Go Wrong

For a few days, an ill wind seemed to blow around here, and after it passed, I reflected a while on what had happened. Not the small series of misfortunes to me and some friends, but how we had reacted to them.

You see, for many of us, the first reaction to misfortune is fear...not necessarily wild panic, but fear... a sudden loss of confidence in ourselves...a perhaps temporary but alarming suspicion that maybe the world really is a hostile, uncaring place.

That in itself is no cause for alarm. Humans are emotional beings, so of course we react emotionally to the changes in our lives. And because our reactions are often dominated by our egos, we take things very personally. It's not just a leaky roof but ....why me? why MY roof? Why now, just when I'm expecting guests?

Many people can quickly pull themselves out of fear, and start taking practical steps to resolve the problem. These are the optimists in life.

But if we hold onto those first fearful reactions, as many do, we can begin a descent into pessimism, and find ourselves unable to regain a wider, more balanced perspective. As we focus on the problem and the distress we feel, our perception grows more and more narrow. Our fear 'feeds' our distress, and soon, we begin to see only what is wrong around us, or with us. As a result, we do not see the easy solutions and more cheerful perspectives that are always available to us, and get caught up in a cycle of negativity.

Unless we correct this thinking, our negativity becomes not just a passing attitude, but the lens through which we see the world and our experiences. Before we know it, everything seems impossibly difficult; we start to see the worst in people around us and our confidence and trust in life and ourselves plummet.

That's what can easily happen when we have no safety net to catch us before we begin to fall.

What kind of a safety net do I mean? Not just people. A social network of friends and family who can help bring other perspectives to our situation, and help us see things differently.  But what if we are surrounded by pessimists (a gloomy thought!) or others are so caught up in their own troubles, perhaps even in the same situation as you? What safety net can we rely on then?

There is a stronger net than the social network, one that can catch us even when we are alone, or when everyone around us is leading us astray. It is the power of TRUST...the willingness to see past our ego-driven fear and self-doubt, past the belief in selfishness, scarcity and danger, and to align ourselves with the inherent goodness and abundance of life.

If you think that trust is some Pollyanna notion, I can assure you it is not. I discovered the power of trust for myself over and again when it was a last resort for me in desperate times. It literally saved my life...not once, but several times. So despite a natural scepticism and deep-seated self-doubt, when I am about to fall,  I choose to trust...in myself, in others, in God and in life. It has not yet let me down.

Trust is a choice and it takes courage, and it makes life possible. We get into our cars every day trusting in the machinery and that others will not intentionally crash into us or harm us. We get up each morning trusting that the world is more or less as we left it when we slept, and that we are able to function in it. As children, we trust that our parents will care for us, and that we will eventually walk and learn to talk. We trust that every storm will eventually end, and that we are able to cope with the many events and situations that we face every day...and we usually do.

When we cannot muster even this basic level of trust, we recognise that something is seriously wrong, and in need of correction. Or for some of us, trust was early destroyed and is not easily recovered, so we must work to rebuild it.

So next time you react with anger, irritation, anxiety or fear, it might be very helpful to ask yourself, 'What can I trust to help me?' ...Your own intelligence, effort and will?  Others who have proven themselves trustworthy?   Clear communication with the other person?  Cooperation?  Your past experience?  God?  Your body's healing ability?  Life's own workings? 

Whatever you can find to give you hope, use it, and use it with faith that it will indeed help you. If you do this consistently, no matter what, and refuse to let doubt or fear rule your thinking, you will find yourself gaining more and more confidence....and gaining a deeper, more stable sense of trust. Just thinking, "I will trust" is not enough to change your behaviour. Act AS IF you completely trust whatever you put your trust in. Put aside fear and doubt.